All The Parts of Queendom

Preface

We've been throwing around the word "Queen" at an exhausting rate lately. Hashtags, printed T-shirts and song lyrics have it echoing - swirling about the air and drifting away.

Have you ever said a word so much it started to lose its meaning?

And I don't mean to be unsupportive of my womenfolk, but rather; I do think it is important to explore the weight of such a title - so that we as women may work to honor what it is to be one; in an effort to better ourselves.

All of us, collectively.

You will see, I have been working on this piece for years. It is a self-reflective collection of thoughts in which I record what I think it may mean to be a Queen. Notes that I leave to myself after difficult times where I might have benefited from utilizing the feminine power that I internalized and neglected prior.

Each circumstance being a painful opportunity for learning.

It is an ongoing, never-ending journey of growth and I figure I can't be the only one.

And as I know that we as women are strongest when working together - I leave this here, for you.

Think Before You Act

(2020)

Seems simple, and you’ve heard it a million times. But do you actually do it? Maybe, but in a way that’s healthy? Probably not. A Queen never acts on her emotions. She pauses, thinks, calculates, and executes accordingly. Only start a fight you know you’re going to win; and if you’re acting based on your emotions, odds are you’ve already lost.

Being graceful and composed is not just some ancient patriarchal standard placed upon the female figure; but rather a vital characteristic of the woman warrior. Power comes with patience. The second you show the monsters inside, you’ve flashed your cards, and you’ve lost.

When something upsets a Queen she takes a step. She asks herself these things;

1. What has happened?

2. Why has this upset me?

3. Is what I’m perceiving the reality?

The last one is important, as oftentimes as women we are so conditioned to having been treated a certain way, we label all behaviors as a threat when in fact, they may not even be.

Once she’s taken the time to think about a situation, a Queen then approaches as a diplomat. Begin by asking questions, make sure the situation is in fact what you believe it to be before you act. Gather all the facts before you make a move. If you’re missing any tiny piece of information; then you’ve miscalculated - and you’ve already made the wrong move.

Kindness is a killer, do you want to win people over with fear? Or would you rather be respected? It doesn’t take an angry or stern voice to have a question answered; but rather a smooth and gentle coxing.

Never accuse or assume; if you place blame or label a situation before acting on it, then you’ve already acted. You’ve jumped the gun, pulled the trigger in your mind without a full understanding of the situation; and your actions will soon follow suit. You’ve acted before truly thinking.

Kindness Kindness and More Kindness

(2021)

A Queen must be kind, or she is nothing. A cruel Queen becomes something more of a wretch, the dark witches of fairy tales. It’s true what they say; you attract more bees with honey. And what do bees do, but build? Work honestly through a visceral devotion to the matriarch. Mother of all. Listening to the loud and shrill is unpleasant. Like nails on a chalkboard, bloodied ears are too full to hear.

A Queen must be loved and no one loves the wicked. Righteousness is never to be mistaken for rightness. The right quickly becomes fixated on winning, on proving their point, but the louder you scream the less they will listen.

Know Your Worth

(2022)

A Queen will always be the giver. Giver of validation, of love and care of interest, guidance, and comfort. She is the mother, the friend, and the angel. She gives things that others cannot give to themselves. Parts of herself, small fragments broken off, and used to stitch wounds.

She will feel forgotten sometimes, as though what she gives, she never is given in return. And she is right, but this is hardly a truth worth grieving over. A Queen should always remember that her role is hers alone, and her work is that of no one else's. She cannot receive the kind of love she gives because a form of care and kindness so pure and unrequited is only hers to give.

And so who else is best fitted to bestow such love upon her, but herself?

A Queen must remember that she does not do all that she does for the appeasement of others, but rather for herself, with her own divine strength.