A Letter to Anyone Who’s Trying

I know it isn’t easy,

And that more often than not you feel like giving it all up-

Like throwing your hands against the wall and emptying your lungs into the air.

It can be such a difficult thing to deal with reactions to our life choices. My father likes to say that for everything we do, there are consequences.

Consequences.

And I’ve always thought - what a funny word! One might choose to say ripples or reaction but my father is a very intentional man and I think I’m starting to realize what it is that he might have meant.

You see- we are not solitary things by nature (human beings.) We thrive in community, needing companionship, support, and understanding in order to survive.

I’ve always been told “don’t care what people think” in between phrases like:

Are you sure you want to wear that?

Don’t ever say that around other people,

You won’t get a job if you….

They might think we're (insert adjective)

I’ve always been told “don’t care what people think” as long as you’re not hurting anyone, live the way that you choose,

live for you.

But there are consequences.

You see while it doesn't matter, we live in a world where community and acceptance means survival and so you do on some level need to make people happy, don’t you?

• A mother,

• An audience

• A teacher

• A customer

• Whoever is in an authoritative position with the power to give you what you need in a certain time.

Someone needs to be happy for you to not be a failure but the problem with that is-

You can’t possibly please everyone.

So I’ll tell you what I think the key to happiness is.

To know that there are consequences for every choice you make in this life, and to be prepared in knowing what all your choices look like and what consequences may follow.

To pick the path of least destruction, making attempts at kindness at every step along the way.

To carry yourself with a straightened spine when you meet disapproval and be sure in your decisions.

To find peace among the noise and know that you are doing your best.

And that your best is all anyone can really ask for.